How to Deal with Shitty People: Affirmations to Not Have a Bitch Fit

White Girls Movie Quote, "I'm gonna have a B F !"
Published: February 4, 2021 | Updated: February 25, 2021

Shitty people. We all know them. But how do we deal with them? You can kick and scream all you want but all you’ll be doing is dragging yourself, the other person, and your dignity down the rabbit hole. Alternatively, you can use these affirmations to help you master how to deal with shitty people and how to  not have a total, complete bitch fit.

Why should you listen to me? I had plenty of bitch fits before I began to implement affirmations. Now, they happen wayyyy less! Cue the deep breathing and mantra music, please!

Affirmation  #1

“I do not let other’s expectations control my actions.”

Why you should say it…

When you’re first approaching how to deal with shitty people, it’s important to think about other people’s expectations of your behavior. Then, forget everything you think they’re expecting. Shitty people tend to be the folks that are manipulative, will lie to you to get their way, and use people as cheap, plastic pawns. The solution is to not let other people’s expectations of you control what you’re doing. Aka, stay in YOUR own lane.

When to say it…

At work, this affirmation comes in handy when you have a boss or coworker is asks a little too much of you and doesn’t care about your health or wellbeing. Personally, I had a coworker in another department that didn’t seem to care how high-volume breakfast or dinner shifts were for my team and I; he’d always ask for things while I was behind the bar or running food. At first, I tried to appease this gentleman, but shortly started telling myself, f*** that!

On the way to work, I’d repeat, “I do not let other’s expectations control my actions.” Soon enough, I gave zero shits about when he wanted things from me. He’d get them when I could peel myself away from a hungry breakfast crowd! Just because he expected me to prioritize his task, doesn’t mean I had to. I’ll manage my own time, thank you very much.

If this shitty person is at home, you’ll want to whip this little affirmation out whenever you start to feel yourself bending. You know what I’m talking about. You’re in the middle of a great television show and your partner walks in…. hungry. Don’t immediately get up and cook. I know you don’t want to listen to them whine and cry, I get it. Been there. But, you’ll create a monster.

Draw your boundaries by telling your partner that you’ll be more than happy to start making magic happen in the kitchen as soon as this show is over. “Babe, there’s only 10 minute left. It’s so good! Come over here and snuggle with me, then I’ll cook you something sweet.”

What you should feel…

When you master this idea and the affirmation becomes a part of your reality, you should feel a huge sense of relief! The weight of the world may crack away from your shoulders, like huge pieces of ice crashing into the ocean.

You’ll finally have the energy and clear vision to do things that you want to do.

Affirmation  #2

“I do not let other people’s energy effect my own”

Why you should say it…

People who are drawn to affirmations are drawn to a lighter side of life. They also sometimes are empaths, people who feel or absorb energy more compared to others. If you think you’re one of these people, you’ll need to learn how to shield yourself and not let other people’s energy effect your own.

When to say it…

EVERY. DAY. In the grocery story, in a fight, Wherever! If someone comes in the room and their energy is off-the-fritz, say it! Whenever you don’t want someone else’s vibe messing with yours, repeat this, write it down, or scream it!

What you should feel…

Shielding yourself from others’ energy can feel a lot like coming home. You may regain interests in hobbies you found interesting at a younger ago. You might feel lucky, airy, or like you’re less heavy. 

Pro Tip: This is where smudging or visualization be of assistance! Repeat this affirmation while visualizing a bright white or golden ball of energy in your solar plex until it creates a bubble that surrounds you.

 

Smudge stick with angel cards and herbs
Photo by Content Pixie via Unsplash

Buy your smudge sticks from reputable, indigneous sources. Alternatives are singing, clapping, or herbs like sweetgrass.

Affirmation  #3

“I cannot control others, but I am in control of myself, my emotions, and
my reactions.”

Why you should say it…

Because the only person you’re truly in control of is YOU. Sometimes it’s easy for us to lose sight of where our energy lies. Too often, we look toward outwardly presenting things asking them to validate our own feelings. That’s where the trouble lies.

When to say it…

Repeat this affirmation with confidence when you feel yourself judging other people’s actions. You’re probably thinking something like, “I can do that so much better if he’d just let me handle this.” Or you want your partner to show you more affection and you’re willing to pry it out of him.

 

You can’t control your boyfriend. What you’re wanting is something that you’re missing inside of yourself. So, control yourself first. 

What you should feel…

When you say this affirmation to yourself repetitively, feelings like acceptance, confidence, and even anxiety might arise. Giving up the sense of control is finally accepting things the way they are. You probably will feel as if you know what to do. But some of us (raises hand) were met with some pretty dark demons when we began to control ourselves. Shadow work may be necessary.

 

Affirmation  #4

“I realize people behave and act through their own life experiences and trauma.”

Why you should say it…

When shitty people surround us, we often wonder what we did to deserve such a putrid punishment. But in reality, people often are acting from their own life experiences and trauma. This can look like egocentric behavior, but it’s more than that. When you work with someone who is just all around shitty, she probably doesn’t just act shitty and like it. There’s always a story. Odds are, she has learned this behavior through some sort of childhood or adolescent trauma.

Basically, I’m telling you to picture your assholey coworkers as toddlers having tantrums that they never learned to cope with.

When to say it…

This affirmation comes in handy when you just had conversation with someone, and you can’t believe another human would act the way they just did. Repeat the phrase, “I realize people behave and act through their own life experiences and trauma,” and remember this isn’t about you!

What you should feel…

You should feel like all of your f***s have suddenly ran out. In the food and beverage industry, we’d say, “86 F***s Given”. A curtain will suddenly lift from the world and you’ll realize that everyone around is you just a huge baby. But here’s buzzkill, so are you.

Affirmation  #5

“I know that I am worthy of love, grace, and respect; from myself, others, and the Divine.”

Why you should say it…

Repeating this affirmation quietly to yourself, or loudly in the shower, is necessary because we forget that we’re worthy of beautiful things. We forget that we’re divinely blessed. The rat race feels like the only thing we ever knew and the only thing we ever will know. But it’s not the case. You are love. You are grace. You are respect. You’re divine. And so are others. 

When to say it…

Say this affirmation when you’re feeling self-conscious, down in the dumps, or when you’re feeling like throwing a pity party – when only the dog and Shirley Temple with her cute flapper-having-smile can cheer you up. Maybe you just got some negative feedback from your boss.

 

Reminding yourself that you can give yourself the gift of grace, love, and respect can go a long way. Reminding others that you demand respect is the tough part!

What you should feel…

When you let this affirmation for shitty people sink in, you should feel like your grandmother is giving you a hug. This affirmation is all about divinity, divine love, and grace from the Universe (or your God – whomever you pray to!).

Photo by Tina Witherspoon

Bonus Affirmation

“I release any energy that does not belong to me (say your full name).”

Why you should say it…

Because it’s hard to let go of the things that all of those shitty people have said and done to you. You need to get rid of the negative energy that you’re harnessing in your body.

When to say it…

There’s no wrong time to say this affirmation. You can say it after work when you’re done for the day. You can say it after a fight to whisk away those little energy bunnies still hopping around inside of you.

What you should feel…

You should feel a tad lighter on your feet! You might suddenly have flashbacks to childhood memories or remember places you hadn’t gone in a while. Our brains like to remember the bad stuff so when you get rid of that, all of those good feelings and yumminess comes right back to ya.

Affirmation Suggestions, Tips, and Don’t Forgets

  • You can write affirmations during a daily journal entry. Or whenever you need a little perk.
  • Say affirmations with pride and like whatever you’re saying already belongs to you.
  • Imagine what it feels like have the emotions you’re manifesting.
  • Once you feel like you’re done with those affirmations (for now), you can burn what you’ve written down and ask your highest self to help disperse that energy into the universe.
  • Always show gratitude for what you already have. 

Shitty people and their attitudes are their own pandemic. And since we can’t wear masks for this, we’ll have to use affirmations as PPE instead. 

So it is.

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How have my words encouraged you today? Comment below, I’d love to know.

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Carrie Jean is a Midwestener-turned-Californian front-of-house veteran with over 12 years in the restaurant industry. Now she writes about mindset, jobs, dogs, and how to manage all three. In addition to writing, she offers virtual assistance and vocal talent. Fun Fact: She loves Abe Lincoln.

One thought on “How to Deal with Shitty People: Affirmations to Not Have a Bitch Fit

  1. Very cool. All I can say to that is: Namaste!

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